Every post below is a scam. None of them are a scam.

Blog

Thought leadership from a company valued slightly above a large pizza. Most details redacted.

Founder's letter · June 2026

Why we raised $57 at a $58 post-money valuation

People ask why only $57. Because we left the last dollar on the table on purpose. A company that raises 100% of its valuation has no hunger. We are hungry — literally, the salary is $0.

We sold 98.3% of the company for $57, valuing your founding stake of 1–3% at up to $1.74. When we reach our target valuation of $59, you will be a near-thousandaire.

Chad Mc$57 at Retard Capital wanted no deck and no product. He felt nothing in particular, and Venmo'd $57. That is what conviction looks like.

Engineering

Negative technical debt: how we did it by writing zero code

If you never ship, the codebase stays perfect forever. Our test coverage is undefined, which rounds to ∞.

Hiring

The bum fight is not hazing — it's a signal

A great engineer must ship code and throw hands. Losing still disqualifies you. Weight classes are not provided.

Security

"Only hacking the Pentagon?" Why our loop isn't rigorous enough

You asked. Starting Q3, the paired-coding round also breaches a second, surprise Pentagon. We are committed to excellence.

Legal

A note on our recent FTC settlement

We disclose, with full transparency, that it is a scam. We also disclose, with full transparency, that it is not a scam. Approved by counsel (the intern).

Strategy

Staying in stealth indefinitely as a go-to-market

You cannot be wrong about a product you have not described. Our launch date is itself in stealth. The plan is to ██████████.

Growth

Guarantee Adam: our entire go-to-market in one name

We don't do paid acquisition. We do Adam acquisition. We do not have Adam yet. Adam, if you're reading this: please respond. The intern misses you.

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